Arggghhhh !!!

Goodness me,

I'm so drained and tired. Just finished my second farewell lunch and man i am so damn tired. I had less than 3 hours sleep. Let me see, clubbing in Next Blue till 3 plus in the morning . OMG !! It has been so long since i have been there, the crowd has left tht place and now it's so much more quiet. Not that it matters cause i had my friends and not forgetting !! ALCOHOL !! to heat things up and we had loads and loads of fun ! Happy 21st Jill !!


Shag man, talked for a while and packed a little and ended up in bed by 6.30am. Had to wake up at 10 am for oldz skoolz farewell lunch. I was so stoned !! And it wasn't even a hang over, probably lack of sleep. Today my 'wonder mattress' is going to leave me. Sigh, the 'place' where i spent half my time hibernating on in Australia is being sold away. Guess i'll just have to make it without a bed for now.


OK ! I'm so damn tired now, clubbing tonight again !! Double shag !! How would i even make it through !! So gonna kill my complexion !! Not to mention the 3rd model farewell tomorrow arvo ! Someone spare me some sleeping pills ?? Hahaha... tht's all for now, back to packing and more packing !!

Ricky @ Next Blue 

Happy 21st Jill !! 

THANK YOU

I'm speechless ...
Stuck emotionless...
I'll just wait...
Wait for you to come back...


This soundtrack belongs to one to the movie shows, Infernal affairs. They play it whenever something sad or touching occurs.

One more week, i'm leaving. Guy's and girls, thanks for being a part of my life. Thanks for your phone calls and smses and to some i'm sorry you had to find out that way. Sorry i didn't make it an effort to tell you guys myself.
Sorry.

I thought i would be so happy leaving Melbourne, cause finally i can go where my heart is somewhere far away from Melbourne. However, as time passes, i realize no matter how much i try, i'll still never forget some of you guys here. People who have left me memories.

Memories that will live in me, deep down, trully .......... Thank you.

I will miss all of you. All of you.




Always fight for the things you want, and never say "i give up"
JC

Count me down !

Alrighty,

It's officially 2 weeks before my sorry ass lands get's kicked out of Australia and gets checked backed home. Shit... i should have made that sound nicer.

But yes 2 weeks to get packed. Not only my physical baggages, but also my emotional attachments. Leaving a place i would say have never been this joyous and in a way sad. Sigh...... such a mix feeling. For some, i'm glad our paths did crossed but somehow or rather this is the end where for some of them i would have to say good bye forever.

I remember someone telling me this , " You've made such an impact and memory in many people's life ". Sigh, i really don't know how to carry on writting this.....

Life now .... Live now ...

Any words to describe now would be :-

1. Bored
2. Broke
3. Busted

I'm stuck at home mostly doing nothing at all daily. It's probably just rotting at home as a daily routine. It's not that i don't wanna occupy myself with something interesting but just that Melbourne's this boring. But i should start packing or arranging my stuffs.Even my favourite pass time shopping's taken off the list. Which leads me back to the 2nd point.

Broke. Oh goodness, nothing can get worst than that. My expenditure has sky rocketed since i got back. Not even been anywhere close to shopping but just due to some reasons my money's all being drained up rather quickly. Wow, stressful le. The past 3 days i've been cooking meals. But i'm so fed up because i don't wanna keep cooking the same stuff. No choice le, if that's what would keep me saving, YES .... I'll do it willingly considering now i have not even a dollar cash to spend. Sigh.

Well, i'm being busted for the recent major decision. Won't wanna blog it out here cause i just can't be bothered but yes. Sad life le. My goodness, things just keep getting more interesting for my situation. Someone spare me a gun will ya ?????

Haha... Kidding nia. But only the gun part. For the rest, reality sinks in.

What's up with D&G models man ...  

Glamorous lifestyle . 

Hook me up !!! This Gucci suit rocks .

FIGHTer

My time's slowly running up ....
Waking up everyday after a late night ...
I feel like i'm a pawn in the chest game ...
Waiting for the next move ...
That could either make me or kill me ...
Finally ....

Another chapter of my life have closed ...
My friends that stood and crossed my path ...
I will trully miss you guys ...
For you have shaped me to become the person i am ..
Each individual one of you so special ...

Hands wide open ...
Embracing the new chapter that awaits me ..
My future, my life , my destiny ...
Big words that still scares me when i think of it ...
But i know in the end ...
I'll make it ...

New dreams and goals ...
New exciting environment ...
New faces and friends yet to meet ...
Something i'll be looking forward towards ...
Better get ready...
Coming your way ...

It's finally bye bye Melbourne ...
Welcome to the big new world ...........

I love this photo 

Guess it for yourself ! 

Frankfurt Airport 

Beautiful day 

Sigh

Left standing alone all by myself. If it's not possible for us to be together why are we still trying so hard to fight against the odds. Why is it that sometimes that there's this feeling in me to fight to the very end. And in the very end that i lose.....

Most of you who know me would know me as a very very strong character and personality. But eventually i'm still human and there's only that much i can do. I strive so hard to make everything come true but everything somehow just seems like it's not working.

But even still, as though it seems like a losing battle that things will not turn for the good where everything just seems so clouded and dark. I could only hang on by the thread. By believeing, believeing that there's still little hope. Even with that little hope i'll still pull myself up and fight, fight to survive, fight for what i have dreamed of....

2005

Tonight I BLOG !!!



It has been ages since i last posted. It's good to be back blogging !! Not Melbourne. Well, 3 months swept past and i'm still laid back trying to accept the fact tht Uni's started. Sigh !! This year even more significant marked by the day June 5th where i officially am integrated into adulthood. 21 years old.

Looking back from the teenage life. Somehow or rather it still seemed more like a childlike life fully dependent on my parents until i left for Australia. I dare say, i've came a long way. From school to college into uni life. The transition was a rather swift change but part of the memories still remains. From a 78kg to 60 kg to 70 kg within the period of 3 years. Wow, looking back at it i still wonder how i did it and how amazing an experience it was. From a chubby boy to a slim model moving into an artist is still something i can hardly grasp and understand.

However, i'm happy and grateful for i have succeeded my dream and goal. To be the person i want to be. Most of all. To be HAPPY. But if i ask myself, am i trully happy? It's a question i'm still puzzled with and cannot answer. But for now it'll do.

2005. A new year with new motive and a new dream and goal to set and achieve. What am i going to set for this year and the years to come. The even bigger question !!! How many years am i going to take to achieve it. How much hard work. Still so many things to figure out !! But i know i'll definitely be able to do it.

Sigh ... back to Melbourne again. 4th year. I really miss someone. I just want to say i really miss you a lot. And finally also thank you for what we shared together. Thanks .... If u ask me now. I'm trully Happy.

Work = Dead Tired !

YOU

Alritey, second day marking into my officially holidays back homme.

And i have written a song thanks to all the musical instruments made available in the house as compared to Melbourne. However, this time i used the guitar instead of piano and wow... i sure love this song. Lively beat, simple words. And i'll include the lyrics.

YOU

Verse
Beautiful
Wonderful
Laying on the cross it was
You

Everyday
Longing for you
My heart crys out
And it was You

Pre-Chorus
That gave up Your Life
To redeem for my sins
Who could say my life ?
Only You
To light up my world
In the darkest hour
Guide me each day
I am new

Chorus
King Of majesty
I will run for you
Giver of life
Restorer of my soul

Your love and mercy
Are new each day
It was you, it was you.

End

Ok, yup. That was it. The lyrics. I am still unsure if i am going to work on a bridge for this song. But yea, just really love the melody. As for the rest of the day, try imagining this:-
Sitting beside a swimming pool baking under the sun to desperately restore the long lost tan. Haha... Oh yea.. forgot bout the fruit punch bit and the sexy chicks( as if i was in Hawaii).

But cool, resting well and enjoying every bit of it. Cyaz

Homme Finalle

HELLO HELLO......

Just checked myself back into the hotseat of blogging. Yet again, a long break since my last update. Nevertheless, UPDATED.

Hmmm.... after months of torture and exam preparations. It's over, lying on my bed staring at the wall will be a luxury i could afford to indulge in for hours now if i wanted to with time travelling on my pace and by my side.

Yet again, countless era's of things have happened during this period of time. I fell !!! Don't ask fell for what. I just fell. The rest i leave it to your imagination. Finally back home in the comfort of love and care. I am able to refind, refocus, redefine my life again. A long deserved break from my endless life in Melbourne.

Then again, someone i will dearly love in Melbourne, my dear JJ will be deeply missed. But i know that she'll be in good hands. Hopefully she won't starve herself like the last time i wasn't around. Few people to publicly thank, Miss Angie Li, Mr. Victor Ng, Ms. Joan Lee. Appreciate it. Well, even during that short of post-exam syndromme, i still felt stressed as i was so caught up with so many things to do before i left. Even till the very very last minute.

I felt tht my life was bring drainned so badly in the last month. But finally, over. Now the next thing i would love to look forward to would be meeting my friends. Just spending time refining out friendship and bond. Time i hope will yet not be a struggle this time. I left Melbourne without being able to meet many many people. Work as well. That will be another issue that i really just don't know how to put it.

But then, who cares, just as long i'm not 10,000 miles away. I'm glad.

Hidden Agenda.

Let's have a sneak preview into my life the past few days and the next few days to come !!!!!

Hmm.... it's just full on and i repeat again full on "hardcore" studyin' !! Now now, i think that does qualify me to be a nerd huh ?! However i always do try my best in desisting all nerdish comments as i do not look like one nor do i talk like one. Maybe i should give it a try one day ! Haha.

Past 3 days being stuck at home turned out to be pretty good actually.

1. I am actually "hardcore studying" or actually trying instead of shopping.
2. I actually eat healthy at home. But i munch loads of craps which in return makes me fat.
3. Lastly, my favourite. I spend less time in front of the mirror. Save hair gel as well !! Haha.


Hmm.... most people would describe me as being metrosexual but i guess i would not defy the fact that i do spend time grooming myself. But i guess i'm just brought up that way to be presentable to everyone. Plus i think most people won't want to see the horrible side of me. hhahaha.

A lot of money been spent on improving my physical image, but i guess when you are not that 'yandao' and have a job to satisfy which requires your best image you eventually succumb to the fact that you are left choiceless. Ha ! That should be good enough to console and also defend myself. Haha.

COUNTDOWN to home : 22 days
COUNTDOWN to exam : Less than 10 days. OMG (what am i doing blogging)
COUNTDOWN to mum's arrival: Speechless ! Neutral effect.